Done trying to hold it together

I am done trying to hold it together. Since the last post that my mother put up toward the end of the week, I have been in meltdown mode. I also am not contacting the cottage at this point. I'm too hurt and too angry. There is another update on the caring bridge site and according to what my mother put on there, the doctor wants my dad to continue through cycle 6 as the tumor markers are down. One would think that news like that would make me happy but it doesn't. Was it Dad's choice to continue through cycle 6? Or is he doing it because he feels that's what he "should" do? Nothing has changed as far as me being excluded goes either, I saw by the latest update post that it's still happening.