A painful and difficult decision

Shortly before I logged in to post today's entry, I had to make a very painful and difficult decision. As I stated before in a recent post, my uncle recently died, and my plan had been to go to his memorial, which will take place in July. My plan had been to attend, and I had been asked to read psalm 23 from the bible. However, all previous plans have now gone out the window because I found out that my sister will be staying at our cottage for the weekend of the memorial. This would be no problem if I got along with my sister, but the truth is, not only do I not get along with her, I despise her and will not have anything to do with her whatsoever. The reasons why are for another post.

The events that led up to this decision started with me telling my mom that I wouldn't sit with my sister during the memorial service. Of course, this led to a verbal butting of heads during which my mother mentioned that my sister would be staying at the cottage during the weekend of the memorial while I was there as well. I told my mother that if that was the case, I would either stay at a hotel or not come to the memorial at all. As soon as that sentence came out of my mouth, my mother started going on and on about how if I stayed at a hotel, I would miss out on all the family get-togethers which are to use my mother's words, what the memorial is all about. Hearing my mother say that made me want to vomit because it's such a hypocritical statement given how I've been treated by them. That was the last straw, I ended the conversation right there and made the decision not to attend my uncle's memorial. It hurts, but I need to consider my mental and emotional health.