Difficulties with Mom

From the time that I was a little girl until I was an adult and had moved away from my parents, I used to pretend that everything was okay even when it wasn't. I did it to survive, but once I saw how unhealthy that was, I swore I would never do it again, and to this day, This has created difficulties with both of my parents but especially with my mother.

I talked with my mother today in order to check on Dad. She said the infection in his elbow was clearing up and that he would be going ahead with chemo this Friday.She then said that his appetite was good and that she hoped that after the chemo he would be feeling even better. It was at this point that I said to her that that would probably not be the case, and reminded her of what the pattern has been for dad after each session. She responded by saying that what I was saying was true, but that she kept hoping things would be different.

It was at this point that I ended the conversation as quickly as I could because although Mother didn't know it, I was angry. It drives me crazy that Mom simply will not face reality, and also that she expects me to play the game of let's-pretend-everything's-okay-even-though-its not. I don't care how angry it makes her, I refuse to play along with her anymore. I won't do it. Ever again.