An explanation

This post is meant to be an explanation to my new friend, For those interested, my new friend has DID, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. I have permission to mention her in my blog, and will, at her request, always refer to her as Metreshka when talking about her here. This is to protect her privacy and safety. This post is meant to be an explanation to Metreshka and all of those in her inside system.

Metreshka knows my story, and given what I have been through, she asks the valid question of why I would want to help others or even care about others. This is why.

In 2004, I was in a very dark place emotionally. At the time, I was in therapy to deal with issues stemming from the things that had happened to me as a child and young adult. I had reached a point in my therapy where I realized that those who had hurt me were going to get away with it and was very bitter about that. One day that year, I was surfing the channels, looking for something to watch on tv.when all of a sudden I heard a voice on one of the shows that was so gentle and caring that I immediately stopped surfing and went back to that channel. At the time, I did not know who this person was or what he did, something about his voice made me stop and listen though.

As I watched I learned that this man's name was Derek Acorah. I researched him online and found that he had written several books, the first of which was titled The Psychic World of Derek Acorah. I read this book from cover to cover and near the end of it there was a passage that touched me so deeply that it seemed as if Derek was speaking directly to me.

The passage, which I have now committed to memory, is as follows:

"There will be those reading this book who are physically or mentally unable to do much work in this world. Yet even the most disabled among us has a wonderful role to play in god's wonderful plan, The gift of a smile when all around know you are suffering is a beautiful thing. The light in your eyes as you see those who care for you brings with it joy. The touch of your hand will never be for gotten by those whose lives you share. No matter how ill, how injured, or incapacitated you may be, have faith in your own self. To your own self be true, and the path to gods kingdom will open up for you as surely as night follows day."

As soon as I finished reading that passage, I started to cry. But the tears I shed were not tears of anger or bitterness. These were cleansing tears, The bitterness I felt completely disappeared, and has not been back. Also, as a result of reading that passage, I now know in my heart and fully believe that my purpose for being here is to help others in whatever way I can, in whatever form that may take.